Babies
So hubby and I have preliminarily decided to not have kids (I say "preliminarily" because I'm still sort of straddling the fence on the subject). Now I don't hate kids, at least not yet. I know of people who actually dislike kids, sort of like that episode of the Simpson's. My boss C is one of those people. She would ride business class on Am Trek to avoid kids, and get annoyed when parents let their kids into the business class, or noisy kids at restaurants.
Our reasoning for not wanting kids is very simple, we enjoy other materialistic stuff in life that money can buy and having kid(s) will strongly cut into other fine enjoyment in life -- travel, movies, dining out, time together, and general materialistic goods such as a large house, nice car(s), home theater etc. Selfish? Sure, if you are Mormon we are most certainly the most selfish creatures on earth, although I fail to see how we are selfish by NOT having kids. Open the newspaper and go like a week back and read all the filler news also, then tell me how many parents out there really shouldn't be parents at all. At least I am well aware of the fact that I do not want the responsibilities that come with having a kid and decided against it.
Want an example about what I am talking about?
Mom pleads not guilty in car-trunk abuse case
Now I am not against folks having kids. I know to some individual it's the single most important thing in life. Their kids literally complete their lives, by all means, have as many as you can afford.
According to a statistic, it is shown that Americans spent more time on choosing a fridge than choosing a job. I think Americans (and probably many cultures that I cannot speak for) spend even less time in deciding whether to have a kids, if at all. I've seen so many people rushing into having a kid as soon as their are married either because (1) their biological clock is ticking or (2) they've always viewed it as a natural step in life that follows marriage. Personally I think it's unhealthy for couples to have kids right away before spending some quality time together as a couple first. But that is just my opinion.
In the Asian culture, couples have kids at a relatively early age (early 20's, much like the Mormons), then give their children to their parents (the children's grandparents) to raise till an older age while they continue to work on their career or just generally enjoy life. I don't personally like much about having one's folk raise one's kids, but evolutionarily speaking, I guess that's a pretty good method -- reproducing at a younger and healthier age and thus having healthier offsprings.
And you also lose friends when they have kids. You see, once you get married you want couple friends. It became odd to hang out with single friend, and god forbid, I hang out with a friend and husband yesterday when hubby was at an all-day job fair. Boy, was that awkward. Once your couple friends have kids, the kids will take over their lives. I never suggest to hang out with friends with kids after work; they simply have more important tasks to attend to -- spend time with the family. And on the days they bring their kids out with them... well, holding a conversation of any kind is hard, let along an intellectual one. As more and more of our couple friends joined the group of couple with kids, hubby and I will be needing to make new kidless couple friends. After we move back to Sacramento and hubby leaves the Navy, we'll be (or more precisely, I'll be dragging him) going to some child-free meet ups. And among them, the following two:
ChildFree Meetup at Sacramento
and
No Kidding, Sacramento Chapter
Our reasoning for not wanting kids is very simple, we enjoy other materialistic stuff in life that money can buy and having kid(s) will strongly cut into other fine enjoyment in life -- travel, movies, dining out, time together, and general materialistic goods such as a large house, nice car(s), home theater etc. Selfish? Sure, if you are Mormon we are most certainly the most selfish creatures on earth, although I fail to see how we are selfish by NOT having kids. Open the newspaper and go like a week back and read all the filler news also, then tell me how many parents out there really shouldn't be parents at all. At least I am well aware of the fact that I do not want the responsibilities that come with having a kid and decided against it.
Want an example about what I am talking about?
Mom pleads not guilty in car-trunk abuse case
Now I am not against folks having kids. I know to some individual it's the single most important thing in life. Their kids literally complete their lives, by all means, have as many as you can afford.
According to a statistic, it is shown that Americans spent more time on choosing a fridge than choosing a job. I think Americans (and probably many cultures that I cannot speak for) spend even less time in deciding whether to have a kids, if at all. I've seen so many people rushing into having a kid as soon as their are married either because (1) their biological clock is ticking or (2) they've always viewed it as a natural step in life that follows marriage. Personally I think it's unhealthy for couples to have kids right away before spending some quality time together as a couple first. But that is just my opinion.
In the Asian culture, couples have kids at a relatively early age (early 20's, much like the Mormons), then give their children to their parents (the children's grandparents) to raise till an older age while they continue to work on their career or just generally enjoy life. I don't personally like much about having one's folk raise one's kids, but evolutionarily speaking, I guess that's a pretty good method -- reproducing at a younger and healthier age and thus having healthier offsprings.
And you also lose friends when they have kids. You see, once you get married you want couple friends. It became odd to hang out with single friend, and god forbid, I hang out with a friend and husband yesterday when hubby was at an all-day job fair. Boy, was that awkward. Once your couple friends have kids, the kids will take over their lives. I never suggest to hang out with friends with kids after work; they simply have more important tasks to attend to -- spend time with the family. And on the days they bring their kids out with them... well, holding a conversation of any kind is hard, let along an intellectual one. As more and more of our couple friends joined the group of couple with kids, hubby and I will be needing to make new kidless couple friends. After we move back to Sacramento and hubby leaves the Navy, we'll be (or more precisely, I'll be dragging him) going to some child-free meet ups. And among them, the following two:
ChildFree Meetup at Sacramento
and
No Kidding, Sacramento Chapter
posted by cahalan @ 20:19
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