My Religious Coworker -- III, The Confrontation and Resolution
So I had a bad week last week, well, bad second half of the week, seeing how my bad streak really didn't start till Wednesday. It's one of those small things -- I've overwritten a file that I need -- that started the streak. I was frustrated at myself, and every small things that happen after that annoyed me. I asked the nice IT guy to see if he can recover the file from the backup and generally running around in distress. When the kind hearted, Roman Catholic P asked me what was wrong, I was literally afraid to tell her about my bad day for fear that she'd pray for me again. I just knew at my state of mind I would have snapped if I hear about praying one more time. I thought she sensed my distance and was a little upset.
Thursday wasn't much better and neither was Friday, BUT the IT guy was able to recover the file for me on Friday so I was pretty happy. Then I made the mistake of telling P about my happiness and it came to an abrupt end with, "Oh good, I said a spacial prayer for you." And that was the last straw for me. I tried to explain nicely to her for the nth time I'm an atheist and I understand that it's the thought that counts but I don't see how saying a prayer helps anything. She said, "I know you don't believe, but can't I just share?" Um, NO! Do I share my view point on reglious constantly? No! I was so overwhelmed (by work) Friday that I wasn't able to come up with a good return to that. Truth be told, I was completely caught offguard. She hasn't prayed for me since our last talk and I was under the, apparently wrong, impression that she has finally gotten over it.
You see, this is why I hate Roman Catholics (the fundamentalists anyway). I'm cool with individuals having a religous belief and all that. More power to them. But certain branches are just more incline to forcing their believes on others, constantly. Each time she says, "I pray for you" it's NOT a nice guesture. It's rubbing in my face that "my religion is more correct than yours (or lack thereof)." But they don't perceive themselves as doing anything wrong. "Oh, I'm just saying a prayer for them, how could that be wrong." Well, let me tell you, it's nothing but obnoxious. I didn't make a point of telling her some 30 times that "there is no such thing as a God" since I started working there, do I? I have Muslim, Buddhist and Mormon friends, but they don't ever tried to force their religion on me. What is wrong with Catholics? (Maybe it makes you a bad Catholic if, God forbid, you'd forgot to preach one day.) Had I share my viewpoint on religion, I am most certain I'd be labelled an "anti-Christ." It's that self-perceived attitude of innocence that annoys me the most. Not the praying part. Pray all you want for me. In fact, I don't care if anyone observe any kind of religious rituals for me (unless, of course, when it involves human sacrifices, or other animal sacrifices). For all I care he/she can dance naked under the moon to some creatures, real or imaginery as long as they don't come back and tell me what they have done for me. Try lending money to a friend and remind him three times a day how nice you are to loan him money. Bet you anything you'd lose that friend really fast.
That conversation left me furiuos (Yeah, I'm a radical atheist. What can I say?) and with a throbbing headache. With two days left at work, I thought it's polite to withold making further comments on her behavior. But I was so angry that night I wasn't able to sleep, and I knew something had to be done. Otherwise, the very last thing I heard before leaving the company on Tuesday would be, "I'll pray for you." Which would infuriate me for the months to come.
I spent an entire weekend rehearsing what's the mildest way I can get my point across and first thing Monday morning, I said to her (after a nice short speech, imitating her Roman Catholic style of how nice a person she is, how much I enjoy her company etc. etc.), "I really need to ask you to not pray for me again, or at least not tell me anymore." She said she was cool with that and that she "apologizes if she offended me." Well, I was offended so I did not respond to that remark. Surely religious folks are always offended when you tell them their believes are wrong? Why shouldn't I be? I think she was still hurt a little by my comment but didn't I feel much better knowing that I won't hear another one of her "I prayed/will pray for you."
***
Day 2, 1287 hours.
Thursday wasn't much better and neither was Friday, BUT the IT guy was able to recover the file for me on Friday so I was pretty happy. Then I made the mistake of telling P about my happiness and it came to an abrupt end with, "Oh good, I said a spacial prayer for you." And that was the last straw for me. I tried to explain nicely to her for the nth time I'm an atheist and I understand that it's the thought that counts but I don't see how saying a prayer helps anything. She said, "I know you don't believe, but can't I just share?" Um, NO! Do I share my view point on reglious constantly? No! I was so overwhelmed (by work) Friday that I wasn't able to come up with a good return to that. Truth be told, I was completely caught offguard. She hasn't prayed for me since our last talk and I was under the, apparently wrong, impression that she has finally gotten over it.
You see, this is why I hate Roman Catholics (the fundamentalists anyway). I'm cool with individuals having a religous belief and all that. More power to them. But certain branches are just more incline to forcing their believes on others, constantly. Each time she says, "I pray for you" it's NOT a nice guesture. It's rubbing in my face that "my religion is more correct than yours (or lack thereof)." But they don't perceive themselves as doing anything wrong. "Oh, I'm just saying a prayer for them, how could that be wrong." Well, let me tell you, it's nothing but obnoxious. I didn't make a point of telling her some 30 times that "there is no such thing as a God" since I started working there, do I? I have Muslim, Buddhist and Mormon friends, but they don't ever tried to force their religion on me. What is wrong with Catholics? (Maybe it makes you a bad Catholic if, God forbid, you'd forgot to preach one day.) Had I share my viewpoint on religion, I am most certain I'd be labelled an "anti-Christ." It's that self-perceived attitude of innocence that annoys me the most. Not the praying part. Pray all you want for me. In fact, I don't care if anyone observe any kind of religious rituals for me (unless, of course, when it involves human sacrifices, or other animal sacrifices). For all I care he/she can dance naked under the moon to some creatures, real or imaginery as long as they don't come back and tell me what they have done for me. Try lending money to a friend and remind him three times a day how nice you are to loan him money. Bet you anything you'd lose that friend really fast.
That conversation left me furiuos (Yeah, I'm a radical atheist. What can I say?) and with a throbbing headache. With two days left at work, I thought it's polite to withold making further comments on her behavior. But I was so angry that night I wasn't able to sleep, and I knew something had to be done. Otherwise, the very last thing I heard before leaving the company on Tuesday would be, "I'll pray for you." Which would infuriate me for the months to come.
I spent an entire weekend rehearsing what's the mildest way I can get my point across and first thing Monday morning, I said to her (after a nice short speech, imitating her Roman Catholic style of how nice a person she is, how much I enjoy her company etc. etc.), "I really need to ask you to not pray for me again, or at least not tell me anymore." She said she was cool with that and that she "apologizes if she offended me." Well, I was offended so I did not respond to that remark. Surely religious folks are always offended when you tell them their believes are wrong? Why shouldn't I be? I think she was still hurt a little by my comment but didn't I feel much better knowing that I won't hear another one of her "I prayed/will pray for you."
***
Day 2, 1287 hours.
posted by cahalan @ 09:54
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