Fillers
Seems like I've been using a lot of fillers lately. :) What's another one, huh? I went back to AlexNg.com and found his entry on March 28 simply hilarious so I'll have to show it to you guys in case you are too busy to check out his site. XD
Here goes:
Jenny pointed out to me, this morning, that in Hong Kong there's probably two things people do on a Sunday morning / lunchtime - and this applies to about 75% of the population. If you're a Christian, then, obviously, you'll go to church. If, however, you're not ... then you'll go to worship the god of roast pork buns and shrimp dumplings at the local dim sum place.
Dim sum in Hong Kong, is unique. Let me tell you why:
1.
In a dim sum place, everyone's hearing suddenly disappears. This is particularly tragic as it means you have to really shout at the person sitting next to you before you think they can hear you. Also, they're shouting at you, so ....
[Sometimes this condition spreads out of the dim sum restaurant where you can find people you don't even know - like old women on the street - shouting at you]
2.
According to the ladies (who seem to hate their job more than most normal people ... they obviously prefer to be eating the dim sum rather than dishing it out) who are pushing the dim sum trolleys around the restaurant, men all become "leng jai" (handsome boy) and women become "leng lui" (pretty girl). This classification is regardless of age, height, waist size and looks. Their classification is basically: has testicles and smells bad = "leng jai"; wearing flowery shirt and has slightly less facial hair then partner = "leng lui."
3.
Do not question what you eat ... JUST STICK IT IN YOUR MOUTH AND CHEW. If after ten minutes of chew, it is still undigestible ... I'm sorry, you just tried to eat your napkin. Things in dim sum places are exactly what they seem ... unfortunately. If you're thinking, "hey, that looks like a segment of pig fat .. haha." It is. Or, "hey, doesn't that look like chicken feet?" Sorry my friend, it is.
4.
Stains. Stains on your table cloth are normal. They're part of the decorations, in fact. Do not try to find a "clean" table. They don't exist. If you wear glasses, take them off ... that'll make the experience all the more enjoyable.
5.
Those cute, authentic circular, bamboo steaming things. That's a nice style feature to make the whole dim sum experience sort of ... um .. authentic, isn't it? Wrong. They use them because most of the slippery dim sum is so difficult to pick up ... if, when you try pick up a dumpling, you find yourself pushing it around with your chopsticks, then at least it won't go across the table it's in the bamboo thingy. Great idea.
[I suggest using one chopstick for the really slippery ones. Stand up. Aim carefully and then SPEAR it ... like a tribal warrior spearing fish in the river. Except don't yell, you might find people staring at you.]
6.
Captain = head waiter. Don't ask me why. I don't see a ship anywhere.
7.
If you have found bones, or anything else un-swallowable, in your food (as is always possible). You can spit it out. Feel free to spit as loudly or as far as you want. If your plate fills up, just spit it on the table. As a result, we get point number 4 (above).
8.
If you're a male and young, you pour the tea. That's just the way it is. Don't even think about eating because they brought you to POUR THE TEA. Just don't get too obsessed that you have nightmares about it.
Here goes:
Jenny pointed out to me, this morning, that in Hong Kong there's probably two things people do on a Sunday morning / lunchtime - and this applies to about 75% of the population. If you're a Christian, then, obviously, you'll go to church. If, however, you're not ... then you'll go to worship the god of roast pork buns and shrimp dumplings at the local dim sum place.
Dim sum in Hong Kong, is unique. Let me tell you why:
1.
In a dim sum place, everyone's hearing suddenly disappears. This is particularly tragic as it means you have to really shout at the person sitting next to you before you think they can hear you. Also, they're shouting at you, so ....
[Sometimes this condition spreads out of the dim sum restaurant where you can find people you don't even know - like old women on the street - shouting at you]
2.
According to the ladies (who seem to hate their job more than most normal people ... they obviously prefer to be eating the dim sum rather than dishing it out) who are pushing the dim sum trolleys around the restaurant, men all become "leng jai" (handsome boy) and women become "leng lui" (pretty girl). This classification is regardless of age, height, waist size and looks. Their classification is basically: has testicles and smells bad = "leng jai"; wearing flowery shirt and has slightly less facial hair then partner = "leng lui."
3.
Do not question what you eat ... JUST STICK IT IN YOUR MOUTH AND CHEW. If after ten minutes of chew, it is still undigestible ... I'm sorry, you just tried to eat your napkin. Things in dim sum places are exactly what they seem ... unfortunately. If you're thinking, "hey, that looks like a segment of pig fat .. haha." It is. Or, "hey, doesn't that look like chicken feet?" Sorry my friend, it is.
4.
Stains. Stains on your table cloth are normal. They're part of the decorations, in fact. Do not try to find a "clean" table. They don't exist. If you wear glasses, take them off ... that'll make the experience all the more enjoyable.
5.
Those cute, authentic circular, bamboo steaming things. That's a nice style feature to make the whole dim sum experience sort of ... um .. authentic, isn't it? Wrong. They use them because most of the slippery dim sum is so difficult to pick up ... if, when you try pick up a dumpling, you find yourself pushing it around with your chopsticks, then at least it won't go across the table it's in the bamboo thingy. Great idea.
[I suggest using one chopstick for the really slippery ones. Stand up. Aim carefully and then SPEAR it ... like a tribal warrior spearing fish in the river. Except don't yell, you might find people staring at you.]
6.
Captain = head waiter. Don't ask me why. I don't see a ship anywhere.
7.
If you have found bones, or anything else un-swallowable, in your food (as is always possible). You can spit it out. Feel free to spit as loudly or as far as you want. If your plate fills up, just spit it on the table. As a result, we get point number 4 (above).
8.
If you're a male and young, you pour the tea. That's just the way it is. Don't even think about eating because they brought you to POUR THE TEA. Just don't get too obsessed that you have nightmares about it.
posted by cahalan @ 15:00
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