Banana Tree House

This is a blog on my incoherent thoughts and painstaking details of my life. Welcome and please consider this the disclaimer...

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Alex Ng

So I discovered this blog today by this guy name Alex Ng. I think his blog is very funny. For starters, here's the quote on the front page, "Happiness is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it ... but only you can feel the warmth." Wasn't exactly how I would put it, but to each their own, right?

And one of his posts from his blog. Hope he doesn't mind:

Saw Osama Bin Laden (or another Osama video) on TV again the other day. I think we should just give him a regular slot on primetime TV ... maybe between 7:50-8:00am. We can call it "Ten minutes with Osama" or "Waking Up With A Crazy Dude" and he can tell us about the day's weather, good travel deals or something. I'm wondering a few things about all his video messages here:

1: When the entire Osama Bin Laden video collection will be available to rent at Blockbusters?
2: When is he finally going to get nominated for an Oscar?
3: When he's going to start having commercials in his videos?
4: When is he going to get sponsored ... ie. broadcast his messages of terrorism in a NIKE t-shirt, with a McDonalds cheeseburger in his right hand, a Starbucks coffee in his left and 15 Marlboro cigarettes jammed in his mouth?
5: When is Michael Jackson going to get a "walk on" roll in one of his videos (because they're both crazy enough to be great friends)
6: When's he going to shave his beard?
7: When's he going to get some decent subtitles?

Here are a few things I would like to hear him to say in his videos:

1: [In the style of a news reporter] ".... and I'm Osama 'Madman' Bin Laden, reporting from a cave 13.4km north of Kabul .... My cave's the one shaped like a chicken drumstick"

2: "But enough of messages of terror. Let's look at our starsigns for this week ..."

3: "I've had a few letters this week. The first reads like this: 'Osama .. Please, please, please tell me where you are. I've spent too much money looking for you and I realize that despite all our technologically-advanced systems, we forgot to install a 'look-for-bearded-man-in-cave' function. From George.' Well, George ... my response to that is .. wahahahahaha.

4: "I've decided to call a truce. Peace. I want this fighting to stop now. Why? Because I'm a good man. Because God told me to do it this way and because I want to stop the suffering of innocent people ........................ also, I'm running out of underwear and the people I'm sharing the cave with are beginning to really piss me off. And I miss watching the Discovery Channel, going to the beach and I need to see how 'Sex and the City' ends. Thank you.

5: "And now over to Geoff for the Sport. Geoff."

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Hope you guys enjoyed his entry as much as I did. :)