Hubby, the Horrible
So a few months ago my hubby told me that I can lose a few pounds. Okay, it wasn't just a few months ago, he's always been saying that but I agreed with him. I didn't realize what a horrible person he was until I was told by many others as I casually mentioned his statement. The usual responds I get was: "HE SAID THAT??!!" Um, yeah? It's only the truth. And a friend of mine said, "Is that kinda mean?" By telling the truth? I suppose this is one of the mystery that I don't get of the American culture. Yes, the guy is expected to be "sensitive," but does that really mean sheltering their partners from the truth?
I don't think it was mean of him to make that comment. In fact, I was very glad he did. (Just like he said, I have my own sore spots, but weight is not one of them.) I'd much rather he identified the problem while I could still do something about it instead of telling me 100 lbs later that, "Honey, we have an issue." This whole weight issue is going out of hand is US and it doesn't have to be an epidemic. Blaming it as a disease and expecting the males (or females for that matter) to be "sensitive" is only adding onto the problem and helping with the entire denial process. As a thirty something woman, there's really two obvious choices: do something about my weight or just let it go. There's no middle ground. I have already past the stage where I could binge eat and not gain an ounce, in fact, way past that stage. Had he not pointed it out to me and kept me nicely in denial, I'll be well on my way to joining the other one third of the obese individuals out there.
Not pointing it out didn't make me any happier. I believe any person who's overweight is painfully aware of their problems. Whether they acknowlege of the issue and decide to do something about it is a different story. I hated going clothes shopping, because I simply looked hedious whatever I tried on. I had a low self-esteem. And being Asian, my family had no problem pointing out to me that I am FAT. And they don't honey coat it.
I've lost some weight since I've decided to do something about it and though I still have some more ways to go, my self-image had certainly improved a lot. Was it shallow of my husband? Sure! God forbid he didn't say he'll always love me no matter how I look. He said that he'll find me less physically attractive if I gained more weight. But you know what? Fair is fair. I feel the same way about it. It'd be hypocritical to let myself go while expect him to stay fit. No?
I've heard a lot that said their spouse will love them regardless. Good for them! My hubby and I have a different kind of relationship and I like it this way.
I don't think it was mean of him to make that comment. In fact, I was very glad he did. (Just like he said, I have my own sore spots, but weight is not one of them.) I'd much rather he identified the problem while I could still do something about it instead of telling me 100 lbs later that, "Honey, we have an issue." This whole weight issue is going out of hand is US and it doesn't have to be an epidemic. Blaming it as a disease and expecting the males (or females for that matter) to be "sensitive" is only adding onto the problem and helping with the entire denial process. As a thirty something woman, there's really two obvious choices: do something about my weight or just let it go. There's no middle ground. I have already past the stage where I could binge eat and not gain an ounce, in fact, way past that stage. Had he not pointed it out to me and kept me nicely in denial, I'll be well on my way to joining the other one third of the obese individuals out there.
Not pointing it out didn't make me any happier. I believe any person who's overweight is painfully aware of their problems. Whether they acknowlege of the issue and decide to do something about it is a different story. I hated going clothes shopping, because I simply looked hedious whatever I tried on. I had a low self-esteem. And being Asian, my family had no problem pointing out to me that I am FAT. And they don't honey coat it.
I've lost some weight since I've decided to do something about it and though I still have some more ways to go, my self-image had certainly improved a lot. Was it shallow of my husband? Sure! God forbid he didn't say he'll always love me no matter how I look. He said that he'll find me less physically attractive if I gained more weight. But you know what? Fair is fair. I feel the same way about it. It'd be hypocritical to let myself go while expect him to stay fit. No?
I've heard a lot that said their spouse will love them regardless. Good for them! My hubby and I have a different kind of relationship and I like it this way.
posted by cahalan @ 17:38
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