On Religion
(Yeah, I know, I've already written a few entries by the same title, but I assure you, my dear readers, this is not going to be "just another one of those." :)
When I was in my twenties, I was happily an atheist. By that I mean (1) I don't believe there is a God, or Gods, or ghosts and (2) when people die, it's like falling into a deep, dreamless sleep -- there is nothing, literally nothing, no feelings, no consciousness, you are not even awared that you are asleep. For the longest time, that's what I hang onto. I believe that religion is what makes one feels comfortable, and that's the only belief that makes me feel uncomfortable.
Let's look at the Bible-oreinted religion. I attended a Catholic school when I was a kid. Back then it was taught that good people go to Heaven and bad ones end up in hell when they die. What disturbs mehe the most about this school of belief was the concept of eternity. I find eternity scary, heaven or hell. No matter how good one thing is (think of the happiness incidents in your life, let it be a party, gathering with friends, a movie, even your wedding), but imagine being stuck at that moment for all eternity. How's that for a concept?
Later on, I've learned that some Bible-oriented religion is even simplier than what I was taught: those who believe in God/Jesus will go to heaven and the non-believers will end up in hell, after judgement day (or something similar to that effect). Now that's plain mind-boggling. It is as if saying that whether you believe in the existence of something that you can't see or feel or prove is the single most important thing in life. Imagine that! What about those that never had the opportunity to encounter this certain religion in their life? Are you just going to tell them that they are SOL? (For my non-English readers: SOL = shit out of luck.)
At least the version I was taught focus on encouraging people to be nice people. Although I must say that the very first things that turned me off this religion in the first place was the sisters - alleged servants of God - at the Catholic school I've attended really practiced "do as I say, not as I do." (Not unlike all the pedophilic Catholic priests.)
But I've digressed, my atheism belief worked out perfectly for me for the last decade, until I've met my husband and became very emotionally attached to him. Then my atheism belief can no longer do it for me. "There has to be something more than existence on earth," I thought to myself. Why else would we have feelings and grow so attached to another individuals? Shouldn't there be more to it? Essentially, I've became greedy? Even without knowing whether we can make it through this life time together, I want some sort of guarantee that there's a way for us to be together after we've "passed on."
Well, the western Bible-related religions are not going to give me the answer that I want to hear. I think the gist of it (correct me if I am wrong) of them all is the fact that those who ends up in heaven is "happy" because they are now with God. Not quite the answer I was seeking.
Therefore, I've turned to eastern religion to see what I can find in that respect. I accidentally came upon D's blog, who claims he is a Buddhist. And even though he's a doctor by trade and his blog really has nothing to do with Buddhism, I've decided to email him to see if he can answer my questions about "life, death, and the meaning of the universe."
After a few emails back and forth, I've came to the conclusion that Buddhism is not any more or less disturbing than the western religions. To put it simply, Buddhism believes in reincarnation. And to the best of my knowledge, Buddhism believes that life is full of sufferning, and the goal is to achieve "enlightment" and escape the fate of reincarnation (gross generalization). Buddhism also believes in this concept called karma. What it really means is your fate in this life reflects your past sins or good deeds, and whatever you do in this life (along with those from previous lives) will carry on to the next lifes, and so on and so forth. Well, I have a decent life so far. A few things I've like to have been different, but overall, I'd consider myself a lucky person. In my opinion, being born in the western civlized world and have the opportunity of higher education in and of itself is a kind of blessing already. But the catch about reincarnation is that you do not bring your memories with you. You start fresh everytime, and you do not remember past deeds and relationships. Again, it does not provide me with the answer that I am seeking. In addition, I can't shake the feeling that if you reincarnate without knowledge of what you've done in the past, you are practically a different person. Is it fair that one has to be punished for sins committed by a stranger, namely yourself in your past life? It's a concept that's very hard to grasp.
From what I can tell (barely touched the basics of what Buddhism truly represents) it differs most from western religion in the sense that it takes into account all other organisms in the world that we share, not just focusing solely on human. Yet the concept of reincarnation after reincarnation after reincarnation is about as disturbing as heaven or hell for all eternity (could one really commit a crime so heinous that one needs to be punished for all eternity? Is God, who preaches forgiveness, really that unforgiving if you failed to confess before you die?).
I have read this book when I was young, I believe it was a science fiction book, in which the author toyed with the idea of fusing eastern and western religion together -- heaven = good life after a life of good deeds; hell = vice versa. Perhaps there is the way to integrate these religions and get an even better picture. Or, is there really a meaning? Perhaps there isn't one. Just because we are capable of thinking, we want to know what's the meaning of life/universe. Who is to say there is one?
So in the end, neither eastern, western religions (those that I've somewhat explored so far), nor atheism provide me with what I want to hear (yes, I admit. It might not necessarily be the truth that I am seeking. I am seeking peacefulness of mind during this lifetime). So I guess I'll have to settle for "I don't know." Perhaps "afterlife" is really a concept that one will not be able to grasp until one is there. Perhaps it's like trying to understand "5th dimension," or explaining the concept of "internet" or "television" to someone from the 16th century. Perhaps "the truth" is something completely beyond our comprehension at this state, at least that's all I have to hang onto, for the time being.
When I was in my twenties, I was happily an atheist. By that I mean (1) I don't believe there is a God, or Gods, or ghosts and (2) when people die, it's like falling into a deep, dreamless sleep -- there is nothing, literally nothing, no feelings, no consciousness, you are not even awared that you are asleep. For the longest time, that's what I hang onto. I believe that religion is what makes one feels comfortable, and that's the only belief that makes me feel uncomfortable.
Let's look at the Bible-oreinted religion. I attended a Catholic school when I was a kid. Back then it was taught that good people go to Heaven and bad ones end up in hell when they die. What disturbs mehe the most about this school of belief was the concept of eternity. I find eternity scary, heaven or hell. No matter how good one thing is (think of the happiness incidents in your life, let it be a party, gathering with friends, a movie, even your wedding), but imagine being stuck at that moment for all eternity. How's that for a concept?
Later on, I've learned that some Bible-oriented religion is even simplier than what I was taught: those who believe in God/Jesus will go to heaven and the non-believers will end up in hell, after judgement day (or something similar to that effect). Now that's plain mind-boggling. It is as if saying that whether you believe in the existence of something that you can't see or feel or prove is the single most important thing in life. Imagine that! What about those that never had the opportunity to encounter this certain religion in their life? Are you just going to tell them that they are SOL? (For my non-English readers: SOL = shit out of luck.)
At least the version I was taught focus on encouraging people to be nice people. Although I must say that the very first things that turned me off this religion in the first place was the sisters - alleged servants of God - at the Catholic school I've attended really practiced "do as I say, not as I do." (Not unlike all the pedophilic Catholic priests.)
But I've digressed, my atheism belief worked out perfectly for me for the last decade, until I've met my husband and became very emotionally attached to him. Then my atheism belief can no longer do it for me. "There has to be something more than existence on earth," I thought to myself. Why else would we have feelings and grow so attached to another individuals? Shouldn't there be more to it? Essentially, I've became greedy? Even without knowing whether we can make it through this life time together, I want some sort of guarantee that there's a way for us to be together after we've "passed on."
Well, the western Bible-related religions are not going to give me the answer that I want to hear. I think the gist of it (correct me if I am wrong) of them all is the fact that those who ends up in heaven is "happy" because they are now with God. Not quite the answer I was seeking.
Therefore, I've turned to eastern religion to see what I can find in that respect. I accidentally came upon D's blog, who claims he is a Buddhist. And even though he's a doctor by trade and his blog really has nothing to do with Buddhism, I've decided to email him to see if he can answer my questions about "life, death, and the meaning of the universe."
After a few emails back and forth, I've came to the conclusion that Buddhism is not any more or less disturbing than the western religions. To put it simply, Buddhism believes in reincarnation. And to the best of my knowledge, Buddhism believes that life is full of sufferning, and the goal is to achieve "enlightment" and escape the fate of reincarnation (gross generalization). Buddhism also believes in this concept called karma. What it really means is your fate in this life reflects your past sins or good deeds, and whatever you do in this life (along with those from previous lives) will carry on to the next lifes, and so on and so forth. Well, I have a decent life so far. A few things I've like to have been different, but overall, I'd consider myself a lucky person. In my opinion, being born in the western civlized world and have the opportunity of higher education in and of itself is a kind of blessing already. But the catch about reincarnation is that you do not bring your memories with you. You start fresh everytime, and you do not remember past deeds and relationships. Again, it does not provide me with the answer that I am seeking. In addition, I can't shake the feeling that if you reincarnate without knowledge of what you've done in the past, you are practically a different person. Is it fair that one has to be punished for sins committed by a stranger, namely yourself in your past life? It's a concept that's very hard to grasp.
From what I can tell (barely touched the basics of what Buddhism truly represents) it differs most from western religion in the sense that it takes into account all other organisms in the world that we share, not just focusing solely on human. Yet the concept of reincarnation after reincarnation after reincarnation is about as disturbing as heaven or hell for all eternity (could one really commit a crime so heinous that one needs to be punished for all eternity? Is God, who preaches forgiveness, really that unforgiving if you failed to confess before you die?).
I have read this book when I was young, I believe it was a science fiction book, in which the author toyed with the idea of fusing eastern and western religion together -- heaven = good life after a life of good deeds; hell = vice versa. Perhaps there is the way to integrate these religions and get an even better picture. Or, is there really a meaning? Perhaps there isn't one. Just because we are capable of thinking, we want to know what's the meaning of life/universe. Who is to say there is one?
So in the end, neither eastern, western religions (those that I've somewhat explored so far), nor atheism provide me with what I want to hear (yes, I admit. It might not necessarily be the truth that I am seeking. I am seeking peacefulness of mind during this lifetime). So I guess I'll have to settle for "I don't know." Perhaps "afterlife" is really a concept that one will not be able to grasp until one is there. Perhaps it's like trying to understand "5th dimension," or explaining the concept of "internet" or "television" to someone from the 16th century. Perhaps "the truth" is something completely beyond our comprehension at this state, at least that's all I have to hang onto, for the time being.
posted by cahalan @ 01:37
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