Sound of My Home

I am an abandoned child. When my mom committed suicide when I was one and my loser sperm-donor decided to forfeit on his responsibilities of raising his own child (?), he abandoned me to his parents. How should I describe my grandparents. My grandfather is a very selfish man. He loves two things in his life -- himself, and his face. (And if you are not familiar with the concept of "face," it can be losely translate to your image among your peers.) I doubt he ever loved anything else other than the above two. Offsprings were probably just by-products of his sexual behaviors, let alone grandkids.

My grandfather dislikes noise. Whether it was genetic or environment, I do not know, but I can't stand noises either. I dislike loud noises. At home I constant have to ask my husband or the roommate to turn the volume of TV or computer down. I definitely can't stand constant background noise, including ambient music in background. Noises over a certain decibel blasting for prolonged period of time literally can drive me homocidal. I was never able to study, read, write, or even think in a normal volume of sound. But my husband is changing that gradually. Not intentionally, but gradually.

Someone once said that marriage is a series of compromises. Being a single child growing up, I am not very good at compromising. I've always tell my hubby that, "Let me explain marriage to you. What's mine is mine and what's yours is ours." :) And that was nice to let him keep half of what's his. :D But I do keep in mind that marriage is a two-way street. I don't want an entirely one-sided relationship, because I do not believe such a relationship would last. So sometimes I tolerate him listening to music around me, even music that sounds just like noise to me.

To an abandoned child, there's nothing more important than a home. A home, I said, not a house. Everybody can buy a house, if they are determined enough. A home requires actual work. My hubby was the first to provide me with a place that I can call home. Today as I left the bedroom and round the corner of the hallway, I heard him listening to his noisy "music" again. The feeling of "home" washed over me. Never had I thought that those noise that I once hated so would remind me of the sound of my home. :)