The woman who should be the role model of all abused woman

In a 1975 case from Iowa, the 8th Circuit "determined that the husband died by accident when he hit his wife. She responded by telling him that she would shoot him if she had a gun. He then gave her a loaded gun and told her to shoot him (which she did). We determined that the husband did not subjectively believe his wife would shoot him, and that a reasonable person in the husband's position would not have foreseen his wife's willingness to commit manslaughter. The result depended on a close analysis of factors particular to the husband, including the fact that his wife had never threatened violence against him in any of the previous times he hit her."

There's someone who should be nominated for a Darwin's award.

On a different note. I despise drunk drivers. So yeah, if someone got dead drunk, got into his car and died in a car wreck. That should be considered suicide, not an accident. And if they kill someone else, first degree murder.

The Diva and Her Husband

The Diva (me) had discovered a whole new way to torture her husband. :) Remember how I said my intentional off key singing actually doesn't bother him and that he thinks it's more important that I get the lyrics right than getting the tune right. Well, I was obnoxiously happy on Sunday, so I started singing loudly and off key on purpose again. In addition to that, I was also clapping while I was singing. You know how people clap on beat with the music? Well, it may appeared that's what I was doing at the beginning. But eventually one would notice that my clapping really has nothing to do with either the original song or my off key version. I was simply clapping randomly while I was singing. After merely a few lines, even my wonderful, good-natured, loving, tolerant hubby has to say, "Now THAT was just obnoxious!"

Got termites?!

When we move to San Diego, we didn't take much furniture with us. For one, we'll only be moving back in 8-months time. For two, well, let's just say I never know of anyone who enjoys lugging around heavy couches as a passtime. Hubby said we can buy what we need in San Diego. Is it wasteful? Yeah, a little bit. But I'm a woman who enjoys shopping, especially furnitures. So if my husband said we can have a new set of stuff for our apartment, who am I to say no? :)

Our quest for our "barebone" furniture need began soon after our arrival at San Diego. We got most of our stuff from Ikea. :) Remember my obssession about Ikea? At least I got hubby into Ikea. :) For certain other stuff, we settled for inexpensive pieces from Target or Walmart.

So we bought this end table from Walmart. When my hubby put it together, the screw came poking through the top. He thought he overscrewed it. On hindsight, that should have been our first clue. But who would have thought?

Ever since the first day, we've always seen saw dust underneath the table. We just assumed it's a cheap piece of furniture and the wobbling cause by us putting and picking stuff on and off the table cause the screw to grind more saw dust. It never occurred to us that we really barely touched the end table on a daily basis. Time goes on, more saw dust everyday.

A couple of months ago, hubby noticed saw dust coming out on TOP and SIDE of the table. There are also these small holes diameter that of an ant associated with the saw dusts. Being a boy that he is, he went as far as grabbing a can of air spray used for cleaning computer and keyboards and discovered that when he blew air through one hole, air came out of the other holes. But that still didn't give him a clue!! (I had no idea he did that at the time. I was still thinking it was the screws and cheap furniture. :D)

Couple of weeks ago, hubby FINALLY brought up the possibility of termites! He looked up termites on the internet but all too quick to discard it as "they (the websites) didn't tell me much."

A week ago, even someone slow like me finally noticed that the piles of saw dusts were appearing on top of the table at an astonishing rate. When I discovered the ant-size holes, I diagnosed the table as suffering from an infestation of termites.

Yet hubby stil wanted to keep this piece of furniture in our apartment for another FIVE weeks!!! I don't understand men!! (Yeah, yeah, I know. My husband hardly represent all men, not even all white men. :P) Regardless, I insisted that we toss the table out immediately.

Hubby wanted to break it apart. He was still skeptical at the suggestion of termites. We brought the table out to the parking lot. We discovered MORE holes on the bottom side of the table. Hubby tossed the table repeatedly onto the ground. The first crack revealed nothing. Just your regular piece of wood. I started questioning whether it's a correct decision to destroy a "perfect" piece of furniture (termites or no termites, isn't it kinda creepy that saw dusts appear from ALL DIRECTIONS of the table?!) Hubby proceeded onto breaking the bigger piece of the two into halves. This time we see tunnels, lots of them, but still no termites. One more time, hubby halved the pieces. This time we could hardly see wood in the middle, it was all dust. After blowing off the dust, we finally found what we were looking for -- an itsy bitsy termite and hubby was finally convinced.

The brain is a very mysterious thing

My boss C said I "overanalyze things." It's been a while since I've heard that, but I've been told that before. When I took the GRE (Graduate Record Examination -- the equivalent of SAT for graduate school), I scored 92 percentile in the analytical section. Meaning, I'm in the top 8% among all the candidates who took the examination. I'm not bragging, I think the overanalyze part is the "side-effect" of my ability. :( Just like the bug in Bug's Life (duh!) who'd uncontrollably fly towards the light source -- "IIII CAAAAAAN'T HEEEEEEELLPP IIIIIIITTT!" I don't make a conscious decision to anaylze everything that I come across.

Hubby is a self-proclaimed math-wizard (although he might have more training in physics in me, I'm definitely better than him in math. I'm Asian. And all Asians are good in math. My genes are just better. :D). Once upon a time, him and a few colleagues were so bored they decided to sit down and calculate the optimal shape for a coke can in order to hold the max amount of content with the least amount of aluminum.

THAT, my dear, was a conscious decision to be analytical. Mine was entirely involuntary. Much like a machine that is set to perform a certain task via a series of event. Once it's started, it'll follow through regardless. And it really was a decision on my part to start analyzing. It's like my brain has a mind of its own, if that makes any sense. XD

Long time ago when I expressed my occasional inability to sleep, my best friend H suggested for me to just "lay there and clear my mind of all thoughts." Little does she know that to be able to "rid one's mind of all thoughts" is really a blessing. To me, if I am awake, I am thinking about something. And most of the time, analyzing some of the most bizarre/tedious things.

Every once in a great while my mind will clear itself briefly, maybe about 3 minutes a month. That's when trouble occurs -- I have no recollection of what I had done/said within those said 3 minutes. Many a times I've came to and asked my husband, "What did I just say?"

They (scientists) have done this experience. They put these mice in a maze. They've discovered that the mice will find the quickest path back home and the path will became hot-wired in their brain. When danger occur, instinct will kick in and the mice will follow the pre-determined path home. In the process, no brain used was involved. They found this out by inserting an obstacle in their path. The mice started to bump into the obstacle everytime as if they couldn't see it. Then they finally learned to jump over the obstacle in order to return home. When the mouse has acquired this ability, the obstacle was removed, but it was discovered that the mice will jump at the exact same spot as if the obstacle was still there.

So mice can hardwire the way home in their brain (or their central nervous system, or their instinct, however you want to call it). Once I spaced out when I was driving (on my way home no less), when I came to, I was sitting in Taco Bell's parking lot. Apparently my homing device will automatically take me to the nearest Taco Bell.

Well, before I noticed my interestly abnormal brain function, I didn't understand why people sometimes look at me like I'm a goof (now being a "goof" is actually a complement to me). Now I do, I think of bizarre things that won't occur to most normal people. The shitty part is, after the overanalyzing has taken place, I am unable to disinguish what I should or should not ask. Even now that I am consciously aware of how others perceive me, I still can't analyzing and asking questions. At least my husband has already gotten used to all my bizarre questions out of the blue. :D

Memoirs of the Geisha

Wow, so they are FINALLY going to start on the process of turning Arthur Goldberg's novel "Memoirs of the Geisha" into a movie after the much awaited talk.

So let me understand this: This is going to be a movie based on a novel written by an American author based in old days (non modern) Japan produced and directed by two Americans and the two led roles played by two Chinese actors speaking English. Ughhhhhhhhh......

'Memoirs' finds its 'Geisha'

Not that I don't absolutely LOVE Steven Spielberg's work, but I am a little leery about how Kyoto will look like. The "Shaolin" scene in Kill Bill vol. 2 had left a bad taste in my mouth...

A woman needs a man like.... ?

I came across this blog one time (and I forgot to bookmark it) that has this quote:

A woman needs a man as much as a fish needs a bike.

To date I am still pondering how much truth there is in that statement.

From San Diegan to Sacramentan

In a little over five-weeks time I'll officially go from my temporary San Diegan status back to Sacramentan. :~( Things I'll miss about San Diego:

(1) The weather. Definitely the weather. Finally the weather is getting so very beautiful -- sunny and breezy -- and I'll have to move. :~(

(2) The restaurants. I guess that's one thing you can say about living in a big city. Always an unlimited supply of restaurants. :D I wish I could try them all, but I doubt I can do that in the next five weeks.

Things I definitely will not miss about San Diego/very happy I can leave behind:

(1) The theaters. Holy cow. San Diegans really need to learn etiquette in a theather. I have given up watching a movie in San Diego completely. There are about five movies out that I wanted to watch, but I just knew the next time I go to a theater will also be the first time in my life I get into a fist fight with someone. So I better just wait for the DVD to come out.

(2) Time Warner's horrible, HORRIBLE digital video recorder. Holy cow, it's nothing, NOTHING, compared to TiVo. It has a lot of first generation type of bugs. It auto deleted a bunch of my olympic games without warnings. :~( Now I have to power-watch my olympics every night so I can record more. And pray very hard during the day that the programs will still be in the device by the time I get home.

(3) The housing prices, also the primary reason hubby and I chose not to stay in San Diego. The white pickett fence, 2.5 kids, 1.5 dogs American dream is certainly not going to happen in San Diego.

Is Obesity a Disease

"Is Obesity a Disease?"

That's the biggest crock of shit I've heard lately. Statistics shows that 1/3 of adults in American are obese, and a growing trend among kids and that it has reached "epidemic level" (National Geographic, August 2004). Whether obesity in US has reached "epidemic level" is arguable. Let me tell you what has really reached epidemic level. Our unhealthy diet/life style has reached an unhhealthy level.Our restaurant's serving portion has definitely reached an epidemic level. And our reluctance to avoid personal responsibilities has gone well beyond epidemic level.

The definiton of "disease" according to The American Heritage? Stedman's Medical Dictionary is "a pathological condition of a body part, an organ, or a system resulting from various causes, such as infection, genetic defect, or environmental stress, and characterized by an identifiable group of signs or symptoms." So, if you ask me, obesity can hardly be considered a disease by the traditional sense, at least not without some stretching of the definition.

The fact that creditable magazines are trying to sell this whole idea of "obesity is a disease" to the public lately is simply pissing me off. Back in February of this year, I read an article published on U.S. News by the title of "Rethinking Weight -- Hey, maybe it's not a weakness. Just maybe. . .it's a disease." This article, in my opinion, really should be renamed "Why I think Obesity is a Disease." I threw in the "I" in there because the article, again in my humble opinion, has no scientific merits whatsoever. The strongest supporting statement it used was that children with fatter parents tend to be fatter than their counterparts with trimmer parents despite the fact that they spent about the same amount of time in physical activities. And exactly how does that prove anything? Not a word was mentioned about he different, or similarity, in diet between the two group. Do we know that the fatter family don't have fast food 3+ times a week? Are weight straightly determined by the amount of activities? And note that they are "roughly the same," that in itself is not even scientific.

Then I read this article in National Geographic titled "Why are Americans so fat" by Cathy Newman. And quite frankly, as a woman in her early-thirties struggling to control her weight, the article was short of depressing. The message that I got from the article was that "obesity is a genetics disorder and the only solution is to have one's stomach stapled, but it has a failure rate of 10%. In extreme cases you get horrible complications from the procedures." Well, thanks a lot. I thought it is common sense that "diet + exercise" are the two key factors in controlling weight, but not a word was mentioned about exercise.

I do, however, give it credit for mentioning the increase in serving sizes of food overall in the US and that people no longer have an idea of what "one serving" is. It also has a pretty good picture to provide readers with a simple guideline of what one serving should be like. I thought for once the discussion will be steered towards the right way and reached the right conclusion. No such luck. After the food portion discussion, the conclusion went right back to "genetics disorder" and that certain individuals actually "crave" food more than others, and that it's not a question of self-control. Let me put it this way, there are quite a few hot girls at my work place, and I have never seen them eating more than a salad (sometimes only half a salad) with a few pieces of meat during lunch, not hamburgers. And when they snack during the middle of the day, they snack on fruits, not candy bars or chips. Or do the genes specifically crave for unhealthy, high calories/fat content food?

I don't get this whole idea of trying to pry it off on "disease." If obesity has reached an epidemic level, how does that help to educate the public that "it is not your fault. You really have no control over it"? And I thought suing a pub for selling alcoholic beverages to patrons who are "obviously drunk" has gone too far. I am almost tempted to think that the food industry is meddling with this. Perhaps the fast food industry (along with the junk food industry) is paying the media to hide the truth and lead the public astray.

Take a restaurant like Outback, Black Angus, or Red Lobster for example (mind you, I am not talking about the quality of their food, I think the quality is fantastic, it's the QUANTITY that blew my mind). You went in, hungry, they serve you dinner rolls (in Red Lobsters' case, biscuits), then the entrees come with a salad or soup. I am almost always full by the time the entree arrives. Then I feel like a moron if I want to box the entire entree up without touching it first. And a few bites later, I don't think the portion is worth boxing up so I proceed to trying very hard to finish what's on the plate and end up over-eating.

Another interesting and valid point also discussed in the National Geographic article was the concept of "idle eating." A study was done to a group by giving them pasta. On day 1, a specific amount was given on a plate. The subjects reported that they are full when they finished the serving. Another day, 50% more pasta was giving in the "serving," and the subjects proceed to finished off the plate. Mindless eating of 100 calories at a time can easily add up to 10 pounds a year. You do the math.

To control this "obesity epidemic," we don't need cure or a miracle pill, although I am sure the pill is coming soon -- there's money involved. But even if the miracle pill can help all of the obese individuals out there, it's not getting to the root of the problem. To truly control this epidemic, we need revoluions - revolution in our mentality and revolution of the food industry.

Americans like bargains. It is this mentality that ultimately drove restaurants in competition to provide bigger and bigger portions of food -- that needs to be changed. People also need to be more conscious of when they are full and sometimes that means leaving food in the plate. After all, what is the point in stuffing oneself to not waste a couple bux, then spend even more time and money at a gym to burn off the extra calories? People also need to stop relying on fastfood as their everyday meals. (Yeah, lawasuits have already been filed against fast food companies because "I didn't know eating it everyday will make me fat." Hop in.)

To quote the tacky saying, "recognizing your problem is half way to solving it." What Americans need is to start recognizing what they are really dealing with here, not another excuse, an ultimate one -- genetic disorders. If everything is a genetic disorders, there will be no criminals (I'm sure serial killers or spousal abusers will just LOVE to use that as a defense -- I can't control my urge to kill/beat up my wife, it's genetically pre-determined). So before you can afford a stomach stapling, consider to be more conscious about what you are eating and when you should stop eating. And a more active life-style won't hurt.

On a side note, the National Geograpic article ended with "'There is no feast which does not come to an end,' an ancient Chinese proberb warns." How that relates to the article, I have no idea. I thought Cathy has concluded that obesity is a genetic disorder. Regardless, I think she was referring to the saying "天下無不散之筵席," which really means: all gatherings (with friends, families), no matter how much fun you have, will eventually come to an end and everyone will go their own way. The "feast" in this case refers to "gatherings," it has nothing to do with the actual act of eating. Just thought I'd point it out.

***
Whew! I really should write a book about this subject -- "Why we really get fat." It might become a New York Time bestseller, but probably not. The public (1/3 of them anway) would much rather think of obesity as a disease than to hear the truth. Regardless, I'll never have the patience to write a whole book so that's a mute point.

Another side note: hubby think it's irrelevant that the Chinese proverb was used entirely out of context. He said it just has to "sound good." That's what one gets for marrying a white boy. XD

Home Theater

Hubby and I went home theater shopping. :) There's at least 3 movies out that I really wanted to watch, but I think I just might get into a fist fight with some scumbags if I ever go to another movie here in San Diego. So I've decided to just wait for the DVD to be released. And this has strengthened my desire to have a home theater. :)

And when I say home theater, I mean something that looks like from this website:

Acoustic Innovations

Maybe not as elaborate.

It was really my thing. For the longest time hubby was saying that's a perfect waste of a perfect room. But I think he's starting to see it from my point of view. XD

I showed him the above website. Silly hubby thought those are just 70" big screen TVs. Hah! He couldn't be more wrong. They are actually 100"+ screens that go with projectors!! So the costs for an entire setup of a home theater is as follow:

Projector: $2,000 - $15,000
Screen: $2,000 - $3,500
Acoustic Room: $1,500 - $15,000
Theater seatings: $2,500 a pop :D

So we can reasonably have one for the low, low price of $25,000. I guess that Prius will just have to wait. :D

The Pot is Calling the Kettle Black

So I got to thinking today (obviously I haven't been thinking much laterly, else you'll be seeing more entries on here -- it hurts when I think too hard XD), there's this Chinese proverb:

黑狗偷食
白狗當災

Loosely translate into: The black dog steals the food, the white dog gets blamed for it. (Presumably the black one was gone by the time people noticed the food was gone :D)

In this case, the color "black" takes on the negative role.

Similar saying in English:

The pot is calling the kettle black.

Same implication: black is bad.

So, if "Ten Little Indians" is now politically incorrect, shouldn't the saying "The pot is calling the kettle black" also? Plus, when's the last time you see a black pot OR a black kettle?