Is This Ever Going to End?

After spending a total of close to 3 hours (3 separate times) with customer service of Cingular Wireless/AT&T, it was decided that it wasn't a case of identity theft afterall. It was a "migration error." Evidently the clerk who was responsible mistyped not one but TWO digits of the person's SSN# and conveniently re-activated my account from over a year ago and put all her charges under my info. Well, all things considered I guess I'd much rather it be a clerical error than identity theft. It's too bad they can't offer me some kind of store/service credit for my precious three hours. I didn't even lose my temper at their reps (not that it's their faults or anything).

Well, now that THAT was cleared up, we got a bill from our apartment from San Diego. A bill that shouldn't even exist because hubby was on deployment. And the bill was for, you guessed it, $10,000,679. Yes, that's $10 million and six hundred seven-nine dollar. I didn't remember burning down the apartment building prior to moving out. (That is, of course, another clerical error. Just kinda comical that they all came in at the same time.)

The Mentality of a Prisoner on Death Row

I read this article about a guy who committed murder (some kids?) in Japan and was thrown in jail for his crime. One day he was just executed without prior notice. The act of the Japanese government elicited a lot of heated discussions. It was said that it's very inhumane (to a murderer??) because he was living everyday not knowning which would be his last. (Note: from the article it sounded like this unannounced execution date thing was not a common practice.)

But here I think, is that how we are all? Walking around everyday not knowing if it will be out last? I guess people don't really consciously think about that everyday. Sometimes I feel like I have the mentality of a person on death row without knowing her execution date. But not for my own mortality. As I have said at the beginning of this blog. I view death in a different light than most. To mean death does not necessarily means a bad thing. When I was an intern at the Coroner's office, the first case I ran into was an old lady committed suicide. I didn't think it was sad. I saw it as the end of her battling with loneliness. Her spouse had passed before her. Perhaps she had no kids. Or maybe she did but they were too busy to visit her. Regardless, it was an end to suffering, in my opinion. I've also seen kids -- babies or toddlers -- died from abuse. Again, that was an end to their suffering, albeit a tragedy. These kids have multiple healed fractures on their bodies at a very young age. Had they lived till twelve or eighteen, it was just more sufferings. In that case, I believe it was almost better that what had happened had happened.

Back to what I was originally saying. I do not sit here and worry too much about my own mortality everyday, though I do occasionally. I worry more about not being able to be with my husband should things happen to me than death itself. They are not the same -- worrying about separation or the impending unknown, you know? I am not afraid of death in that sense. I suppose if I am lying on my death bed and knowing my days are counting, I'd be anxious about what really happens after "death," but as it stands, the idea of passing through this phase doesn't frighten me as much as it does others.

Instead, I worry for the mortality of my husband. Having no family or siblings and not even a lot of close friends, my husband means more than life itself to me. Some might argue that it's not healthy that way, but that's just the way it is. I did not make it this way, nor do I wish it's different. It just is this way. Forty thousand people are killed each year from drunk driving related accidents. That was my biggest fear. Senseless deaths (not the drunk drivers, I couldn't care less about them, but their innocent victims) enrage me, especially that of pre college teens. I can't divulge too much details, but when I was working at the tissue bank, the story of how this teenage girl was killed by two drunk drivers made me cried. It was the first and last time I have cried over a donor. I had always been very detached through out my three and a half years in the dead people field. Had I been assigned to that case, I would have to decline it.

I always worried about my husband being killed by a reckless or drunk driver when I am not with him. The fear of having to deal with the loss of him gets so overwhelming sometimes that the only way I can go on is to tell myself that I have the option of not having to live without him. Meaning that it would be a choice of mine whether to go on on my own in the event that I lost him. I have vocalized that idea to him before. He didn't like it at first. He still doesn't now. He doesn't want me to kill myself if he dies before me. But I argue that that should be my choice, not his. I am not saying that I would necessarily follow through with it, but I like to keep that option open. I will cross that bridge when I come to it, but for the time being, I need to know that I have that option to go on. In a sense it's like a religion to me. Some needs to know that there's a God and afterlife to go on. I need to know I have an option in the event that tragic happens to me (or more like my husband).

I was finally able to get him to the point of discussing the method with me. He asked me how I intend to do it. And I said I was considering shooting myself. (I've always been asking him to take me to a shooting range and teach me how to shoot and to buy a gun. :) But he suggested carbon monoxide poisoning as a better alternative, and I think he might be right. But if and when it comes to that, I'll need a fool-proof method. The last thing I want was to be saved after a failed attempt. (Also seen a woman who finally successfully killed herself on her ELEVENTH try. I think when someone was that determined, they really should respect her wish and stop trying to interfere.) I was actually very happy that my husband was willing to discuss that with me, albeit he strongly disagrees with my plan. Like I have said, that's the kind of open, clinical, and analytical relationship that we have, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Days Inn, Costa Mesa

The other saving grace is the great motel in Costa Mesa, CA (10 miles from Irvine). It has FREE high speed internet, albeit not wireless AND complementary LA Times. :D SO much better than the Days Inn at San Diego (Hotel Circle). The one in SD only has high speed in certain portion of the motel plus lobby AND one of the front receptionist was very snappy!

Oh, this one also has a big refrigerator AND microwave. ^_^ I am a happy camper.

More Events That Marks the Next Phase of My Life

Well, remember in a blog entry from some six months or so ago (of course you'd all remember :P), I said there are days when everything can go wrong will go wrong? Usually start with something small in the morning then starts cascading downward? Well, I had one of those days yesterday.

Let's see. Checked out of the motel way early to take my husband to base (we are back in San Diego to finish checking him out of the Navy and to drive our second car with all our remainder stuff home), which was mistake number one. Should have kept the motel room till actual check out time. After dropping him off at 8:30 AM, I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. I wanted to go to an internet cafe but didn't want to sit in there for three hours. I got breakfast and drove around and killed an hour before I go to the cafe. Spent $2.50, about all the cash on me, to get a cup of hot chocolate so I can sit there and use their internet. I must have turned the laptop on and off some 4-5 times prior to arriving at the cafe, and it booted up fine everytime except that last time. And that's when I knew it was going to be a bad day. I tried the trick that he has been using -- flip the laptop upside down and tapped the harddrive. It, of course, failed on a bad day.

I finished off my hot chocolate (all nutrient free calories, great) and hopped back into the car. The only place I have to go is back to the base. Sat there and bored my mind out because I have no laptop. I brought a few books with me but they were in my backpack and low and behold the left back door of my car wouldn't open. Surprise!!

And that's NOT the end of it. To top it all, after picking up the hubby, the driver side window wouldn't roll up all the way!! We had to drive with an open window from San Diego to Irvine (where we had our hotel booked), drop it off a dealer and pick up a rental.

See what I meant by everything that can go wrong will go wrong? I guess the saving grace was it all happened around noon time so it's bright outside AND we saw the sun for the first time so we were at least able to drive to Irvine. Had the heater blasting on me though. :D

Hopefully my car will be ready today. :) I want some REAL Chinese food from Alhambra. :D

Last Man, Last Woman

My favorite columnist Gersh Kuntzman wrote this article Bye-Bye, Birdie for Newsweek's web exclusive. He talked about how this kind of birds, po'ouli, might have gone extinct with one of the last three died recently and the other two hadn't been spotted for over a year. And even if the other two birds were still around, they could be of the same gender.

In his article, he made this statement: If I was the last man on the planet, and I heard that the last woman on the planet was living in Papau New Guinea, you can be damn sure I'd be studying boat construction. Not so with the po'ouli.

Well, good for him! Unlike him, I certainly don't have that chip on my shoulder. If I am the only woman left and the last man is sleezy or slimey or hideous or simply disgusting, we are going extinct. I don't feel that I have the moral obligation to repopulate mankind with this slimball of a man. Having a scientific mind, I believe that the world is going to come to an end sooner or later, via one way or another. At which point all species on earth (or most anyway) will go extinct. That is not to justify destroying the environment and accelerating extinctions of other species. Simply to justify why I would not be interested in repopulating the world with someone of lesser quality. Besides, do we really want to repopulate the earth with THIS man's offsprings? And, after all is said and done, his offspring probably won't survive all that well anyway, why waste my precious time. :D

Ugh

Doing some more mindless browsing while the hubby gone to take care of real business and came acrossed this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6650859/site/newsweek/#survey

According to this poll on MSNBC, 66% believe that Jesus Chris was born in a virgin birth, 26% don't, and 8% unsure. 66%? Granted, it's not scientifically valid... I certainly hope those more intellectual ones simply didn't bother to vote on this one...

One Strange Site

I bummed into this strange website today. The best I could figure out is the website sells Method's product and it allows people to type in their confessions. I guess my confession would be that I've bought Method's product (dish washing detergent) simply because it looks cute. I didn't expect it to work too well, but the design was flawed and it kept leaking out of the upside down design bottle. :(

Anyways, it has an alert on the bottom: We've received murder confessions. I hope you are kidding.

Ugh. Don't they have moral or legal obligations to report that to the cops?

About Damn Time These Women Come To Their Senses

Japanese Women Look for Western Husbands

A growing number of Japanese women are giving up on their male counterparts, and taking a gamble that looking abroad for love will bring them the qualities in a partner that seem rare at home. Mr. Right, as the hope goes, is often an American or European, a man appreciative of a wife's career and more of a partner in daily tasks.

"They treat you like equals, and they don't hesitate to express mutual feelings of respect - I think Western men are more adept [at such things] than Japanese men," says the 36-year-old Ms. Mizuguchi, who works at a top trading firm. "They don't act like women are maids - I think they view women as individuals."

Ahahahahahaha. These women are finally coming to their senses!! Hopefully the "competition" will drive the Asian men to PROGRESS!

The Origin of "My Life is Now Complete"

When I was attending junior college (Foothill College) I worked part time in a local, mom and pop type pharmacy. It was a nice, small, homely, and clutter place. I'd imagine it having a hard time surviving with all the chain drug store, but it had it's own built in clientelle. Even though it's spaces was limited, but every once in a while they'd carry some strange products that you are not going to find at Long's Drugs, or any other chain stores. And they also take special orders.

One day a young girl came in looking for "coca cola syrup." To date I have yet to figure out what you use that for. But she jumped up and down in joy when I pulled it from the shelf, dusted it off (without her seeing, of course) and handed it to her, saying, "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, my life is now complete." And everybody in the store started laughing at the sheer, innocent, youthful energy and happiness. I've since picked up the phrase, "My life is now complete" or "this will complete my life". :D For some odd reasons, hubby is very good at determining whether something will truly complete my life or not. :)

So I met this acquaintance one day. And not knowing my personality, she was SHOCKED (what an uptight woman!!) when I said, "my life is now complete."

"Why do you aim so low in life?" She asked in horror.

Little does she know, tomorrow and the day after and the day after and the day after and.... I'll find something else that will, once again, complete my life. :D

My Life is, Once Again, Complete

This wireless internet thing is too cool. I am right now happily sitting at a food court inside a Westfield shopping mall blogging and web-surfing to my heart's contend. Some nice guy even walked by and told me there's an outlet that I can plug into. :D (Little does he know hubby has two extended battery in addition to the original one so I have about 10 hours of battery time. Still a sweet gesture from a stranger. Thank you, stranger!! If you happen upon this blog! :) And all this enjoyment for a low, low price of $3 per 24 hours (or $20 a month)!!! Being surrounded by internet and food -- my life's two greatest passion -- my life is now complete. :)

Hubby, the Horrible

So a few months ago my hubby told me that I can lose a few pounds. Okay, it wasn't just a few months ago, he's always been saying that but I agreed with him. I didn't realize what a horrible person he was until I was told by many others as I casually mentioned his statement. The usual responds I get was: "HE SAID THAT??!!" Um, yeah? It's only the truth. And a friend of mine said, "Is that kinda mean?" By telling the truth? I suppose this is one of the mystery that I don't get of the American culture. Yes, the guy is expected to be "sensitive," but does that really mean sheltering their partners from the truth?

I don't think it was mean of him to make that comment. In fact, I was very glad he did. (Just like he said, I have my own sore spots, but weight is not one of them.) I'd much rather he identified the problem while I could still do something about it instead of telling me 100 lbs later that, "Honey, we have an issue." This whole weight issue is going out of hand is US and it doesn't have to be an epidemic. Blaming it as a disease and expecting the males (or females for that matter) to be "sensitive" is only adding onto the problem and helping with the entire denial process. As a thirty something woman, there's really two obvious choices: do something about my weight or just let it go. There's no middle ground. I have already past the stage where I could binge eat and not gain an ounce, in fact, way past that stage. Had he not pointed it out to me and kept me nicely in denial, I'll be well on my way to joining the other one third of the obese individuals out there.

Not pointing it out didn't make me any happier. I believe any person who's overweight is painfully aware of their problems. Whether they acknowlege of the issue and decide to do something about it is a different story. I hated going clothes shopping, because I simply looked hedious whatever I tried on. I had a low self-esteem. And being Asian, my family had no problem pointing out to me that I am FAT. And they don't honey coat it.

I've lost some weight since I've decided to do something about it and though I still have some more ways to go, my self-image had certainly improved a lot. Was it shallow of my husband? Sure! God forbid he didn't say he'll always love me no matter how I look. He said that he'll find me less physically attractive if I gained more weight. But you know what? Fair is fair. I feel the same way about it. It'd be hypocritical to let myself go while expect him to stay fit. No?

I've heard a lot that said their spouse will love them regardless. Good for them! My hubby and I have a different kind of relationship and I like it this way.

The Next Phase of My Life

The hubby was back after a one week delay. But given our current situation, as long as he can be discharged by the original planned date, I am not complaining. With his return we are entering my next phase in life -- life as a wife to a civilian as opposed to a military personnel. Granted, him doing shore duty for so long, I never really felt like a traditional military wife.

With the next phase of life comes job hunting, on his part. Once that is settled, then my part, preferrably my next career is going to be a housewife. Hehe.

Two events mark the beginning stage of my next phase in life: identity theft (me being the victim) and the death of my laptop. Yup. Fun. Identity theft is one of those things that you heard about everyday but never thought could happen to you, until the day it happens. And it did. Somebody opened up an AT&T Wireless cell phone account with all my information -- my name, my address, my phone number, my social security number AND my date of birth and I don't even want to know what else. Wasn't the brightest thing to do. I AM going to see the bill after a month (I guess same thing with stolen credit card info) AND I have a list of numbers that he or she called, which I am not sure what I can do with just yet. I am still at the phase of trying to sort it all out with AT&T. I'll find out more info once I get hold of their fraud department. I would like to pursue this issue to the full extend of the law, whatever that maybe. The good news was perhaps the culprit did not have my credit card information, last I checked my credit was still okay, but God knows how long that'd last.

And for the laptop, hubby and I are actively shopping for a replacement. :) I want another Sony Vaio!! I am SO spoiled!! :D